I want him back so badly. I never stopped thinking about how he was doing ever since he went into intensive care. It seems like cancer always finds a way to fuck everything up. I found a friend who was going through the exact thing I'm going through, who I can lean on and just chill with and now that's been snatched away, just like everything else in my life. Two nights ago I was praying that God would give him strength or luck or just anything to get into remission and get a donor for his transplant and nothing. Nothing at all. He was too young. And that's just wrong. I know that "life isn't fair" and all that shit but that's beyond not being fair, that's just cruel and disgusting that he'd have to go through all that shit and not even make it out alive. He brought joy to so many lives and yet his gets taken away??? There are other people who deserve to not be here and the ones that do are always the first to go. That's fucked up. It's not right that anyone, especially the youth, should have to suffer through shit like cancer. My heart really goes out to your family and friends, Sandor. They still need you. I still need you. We'll never stop needing you. You're such an irreplaceable soul. I keep hoping that this was a mistake or some mean joke you're playing. Please let it be a joke. I promise no one will be mad. Just come back, please, come back.