Day +8

It's been a week and a day after my transplant. I'm feeling a tad bit better, maybe because it's all the drugs they have me on. In all. this week was the roughest week of my life. The chemo completely knocked out all my energy and left me with really bad side effects that just make me not want to wake up in the morning.

The good thing is the doctors understand that I'm in a lot of pain so they tell me to ask for pain meds whenever I need it. Ahhh music to my ears.

The bad thing is some of those medications make me too loopy and caused me to pull out my triple lumen catheter. I believe this happened on Tuesday or Wednesday. I was alone in my room and I was walking to the bathroom to get something, I don' know what. And all of a sudden my IV pole feel on me. I blacked out for awhile and then the next thing I realized is that felt all this cold stuff on me. So I pulled in the emergency bell in my bathroom. When my nurse got there she looked really shocked. She said that my whole line came out. I needed a new one that night. But before I could get a new one I needed platelets. So the nurse stuck me about a million times before she could find a vein to put the IV in. I hated the experience of having to get a new one within less than a week of having one. It's not a desirable at all. Regardless to say that night sucked a lot. Then when my mom found out she made a new rule that I'm not allowed out of bed without assistance, not like I have the strength to get out of bed anyway.


Last night something else very eventful took place. My ear was bleeding for at least two hours. My ears started to itch so I decided to clean them, very gently . I sort of felt my self poke my right ear but I thought it was nothing. So I took a nap. Mid-nap my right ear felt really weird, like there was water in it. So I started snapping over my right ear to see if I was going deaf and my hearing was really muffly. So I leaned my head to my right and all this blood started rushing out. They had to give me more platelets and a lot of gauze. It felt so weird. I've never bleed from my ear before. After that I just felt dumb, like what dumbass cleans their ear and then has it bleed for two hours, oh yeah, I do!


There were some points this week where I thought I didn't have the strength to make it through the night. I honestly thought my body was just going to give out on me. I'm surprised it hasn't yet. The doctors said that this is the worst part and that from here things should get better once my counts start to pick up again, but it's going to take time. It seems sad but I can't imagine myself getting better for some reason. I don't feel like myself at all anymore. I feel like I let it get the best of me. But I hope the doctors are right.

As for school work and stuff I'm still trying to get it done. My mom and tutors met with my teachers from school. I had the choice of taking a medical leave of absence where I'd just go back to school next year or whenever I was allowed to go back and finish. Or I could try to get as many credits in to graduate this year. Appearently, I have good grades so I only need like 10-15 credits to graduate, which I can hopefully pull off by by June. Me actually attending the graduation is still in question though.

I have to apologize to some of my friends that have been texting me/facebooking me and I haven't been getting back to them. I'm sorry. I just really didn't have the energy. I'll try a little harder this week if I have more energy.


You know how I think that no one really reads this at all? Well today I was checking my facebook and I got a message from a girl I used to have a class with last year. She graduate and went to college and I never did talk to her that much when I had class with her. But guess what, it turns out she reads my blog! I was really touched by what she had to say and in fact it brightened up my day a lot. Thanks to her my day, and possibly tomorrow will be about 10 times better all because she decided to reach out to me. I really appreciate things like that and I don't think it's creepy :)