I find myself feeling very miserable nowadays. I have no privacy at all here. People are always walking in and out of my room asking me the same damn questions, waking me up from my precious sleep. Everyone keeps putting their two cents in on what I should do to make myself feel better such "read a book" and "do this so this won't happen" and I understand that they're trying to help and all but I just don't feel like hearing it and half the stuff they're telling me I already know.
I even had to go as far as to ask for one of techs to be removed from my case because I really didn't feel comfortable with him in my room. I know, I'm miserable.
I'm becoming very forgetful as well. I never know what day it is. Sometimes I wake up thinking I'm somewhere else, like my mom's room or something. I can't tell events apart like whether or not something happened yesterday or today.
My WBC count is back down. It went from .1 to .2 to .3 and back to .1 ( in order for me to go home my WBC count has to be between 4.0-10.0 [thousand] so according to my blood work chemistry I only have 100 WBC). So I still have a long way to go. The doctors said it takes longer for counts to recover when you have a cord blood transplant.
Hopefully I'll be home by the end of March or early April.
Sorry if there are any grammar errors, I'm really drugged right now.
Purpose
- Alyssa
- I've decided to keep a record of my (second) cancer experience for personal and educational purposes. I know there are people out there my age, or maybe younger or older, going through the same thing I am and I thought it would be nice to let them know that there is someone out there that wants to help them and that is also probably crazier than them. It's also an easy way for my friends to see how I'm doing if they can't get in touch with me. I hope you enjoy the results of my chemobrain :) Everyone should remember that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger... no matter how hard it tries.
1 comment:
girl, you were seriously concerned about grammar errors??!!?!!?!??! You have every right to make any grammar error you want to ever lol. You are amazing girl, every time I return to this blog I am riveted and more and more in awe of your strength. I am so sorry that I never visited you in the hospital; it is something I will regret for the rest of my life. I'm gonna find a way to try to make it up to you (but I know that doesn't make it better). Anyway, you are amazing and I love you and as always, thank you for watching over us.
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